The Ladies Delight
Date: 2004-11-10T00:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Penis -- Poetry; Erotic literature; Heidegger; John James; 1659?-1748

The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Ladies Delight

This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: The Ladies Delight

Author: Anonymous

Release date: November 10, 2004 [eBook #14005]
Most recently updated: October 28, 2024

Language: English

Credits: Produced by David Starner, David Garcia and the PG Online Distributed
Proofreading Team.

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LADIES DELIGHT ***

THE

L a d i e s   D e l i g h t.

CONTAINING,

I. An Address to all well provided Hibernians;

II. The Arbor Vitæ; or, Tree of Life. A Poem. Shewing whence it took it's Root, and has spread its Leaves over all Christendom; being extremely useful to Students in all Branches of polite Literature.

III. The Natural History of the Arbor Vitæ; or, The Tree of Life, in Prose; printed from the Original Manuscript.

IV. Ridotto al' Fresco. A Poem. Describing the Growth of this Tree in the famous Spring Gardens at Vaux-Hall, under the Care of that ingenious Botanist Doctor H——gg——r.

RES est severa Voluptas.

LONDON:
Printed for W. James in the Strand, 1732

[Price Six-pence.]

AN

A D D R E S S

TO ALL
Well provided Hibernians.

Gentlemen,

S Nature hath been so very Indulgent to ye, as to stock your Gardens with Trees of the largest Growth, for which Reason ye are caress'd, whilst Men of less Parts, tho' in some Things more deserving, are laugh'd at, and excluded all Company.

As all Infants, especially of the Female Sex, are much delighted with Fruit, so as their Years and other Appetites increase, no Wonder if that increases too. Both Men and Beasts have some-thing or another, for which they are esteem'd; so ye being in a particular manner Happy in this Talent, may securely laugh, while ye daily grow in the Ladies Favour, and spread your Branches over all the Kingdom: Many a hopeful Stick of Wood has been produc'd by this glorious Tree, who after they had piss'd their Estates against the Wall (as the good Housewives term it) have by the Strength of true Hibernian Prowess rais'd themselves to the Favour of some fair Virtuoso, and being by her plac'd in a HOT-BED, have been restor'd to their pristine Strength, and flourish'd again; and like true Heroes, not envying the busy World, have been content to spend the remainder of their Days in an obscure Nook of the World.

Thus, Gentlemen, and as all Poets chuse the most Worthy to patronize their Works, I humbly offer ye the following Poem, and that you may still continue as ye now are; that your Trees may ever flourish, your Green-houses be secure, nor your young Plants be ever nipt in the Bud, and that you may ever stand against all Cracks, Storms, Tempests, and Eruptions,

Is the hearty Wishes of Your's,

BOTANICUS.

THE

Natural   H I S T O R Y

OF   THE

T r e e   of   L I F E.

THE Tree of which I fain would sing,

If the kind Muse her Aid would bring,

Is Arbor Vitæ; but in brief,

By vulgar Men call'd—Tree of Life.

First for Description then, 'tis such

As needs must captivate you much.

In Stem most streight, of lovely Size,

With Head elate this Plant doth rise;

First bare—when it doth further shoot,

A Tuft of Moss keeps warm the Root:

No Lapland Muff has such a Fur,

No Skin so soft has any Cur;

This touch'd, alone the Heart can move,

Which Ladies more than Lap-dogs love;

From this erect springs up the Stalk,

No Power can stop, or ought can baulk;

On Top an Apex crowns the Tree,

As all Mankind may plainly see;

So shines a Filbeard, when the Shell,

Half gone, displays the ruby Peel

Or like a Cherry bright and gay,

Just red'ning in the Month of May.

As other Trees bear Fruit at Top,

And they who rob 'em must climb up;

This still more rare doth upward shoot,

But at the Bottom bears its Fruit,

And they who'd reap its Virtues strong,

Need but to lay 'em all along,

Ope' wide, their Mouths, and they'll receive

The Fruit of Life, and eat, and live:

Not the fair Tree that India bears,

All over Spice both Head and Ears,

Can boast more Gifts than the Great Pow'rs

Have granted to this Tree of ours:

That in good Ale its Power boasts,

And ours has Nutmeg's fit for Toasts

And Bags by Nature planted grow,

To keep 'em from all Winds that blow.

The Rise is slow, and by Degrees,

Both Fruits and Tree itself increase

So slow, that ten Years scarce produce

Six Inches good and fit for Use;

But fifteen ripen well the Fruit,

And add a viscous Balm into't;

Then rub'd, drops Tears as if 'twas greiv'd,

Which by a neighbouring Shrub's receiv'd;

As Men set Tubs to catch the Rain,

So does this Shrub its Juice retain,

Which 'cause it wears a colour'd Robe,

Is justly call'd the flow'ring Shrub.

In every Nation springs this Tree,

In some confin'd; in others more free;

In England, 'tis of mod'rate Size,

And oft' does nine full inches rise:

But Ireland, tho' in Soil most poor,

Exceeds all Lands in this fame Store;

And sent o'er hither, it is such

As does exceed our own by much,

And gets the Owner many a Farthing,

For Ladies love it in their Garden.

That it's a Tree right sensitive,

Denies no honest Man alive:

Tho' as one shrinks and will not stand,

This rises at a Lady's Hand,

And grows more strong the more 'tis strok'd,

As others fall when they are pok'd.

When nipping Cold bites off our Nose,

And hoary Frosts the Morn disclose,

In Hot-beds only then 'twill live,

And only when-well warm'd will thrive;

But when warm Summer does appear,

'Twill stand all brunts in open Air;

Tho' oft they're overcome with Heat,

And sink with Nurture too replete;

Then Birchen Twigs, if right apply'd

To Back, Fore-part, or either Side——

Support a while, and keep it up,

Tho' soon again the Plant will droop.

Motteux had one very untow'rd,

And thought to mend it with a Cord,

But kill'd the Tree, yet gain'd his End,

Which makes th' Experiment condemn'd.

Others have thought to mend the Root,

By taking from the Tree its Fruit;

But in the Nutmegs lies the Breed,

And when they're gone we lose the Seed;

Tho' Virtuosi still have don't,

And always found it yield Accompt;

For Hey——gg——r then buys the Wood,

And of it makes us Whistles good,

Which yearly from Italia sent,

Here answers his and our Intent.

Others too curious will innoc

Ulate their Plants on Medlars Stock,

(i.e. as Tongues in Vulgar pass,

They graft it on an Open-arse;)

But Gardeners, Virtuosi, all,

Say this is most unnatural.

That Soil is certainly the best,

Whence first it sprang, and first increast,

In Vallies hollow, soft, and warm,

With Hills to ward off every Storm,

Where Water salt runs trickling down,

And Tendrils lie o'er all the Ground,

Such as the Tree itself shoots forth,

And better if't be tow'rds the North;

When such a Piece of Ground you see,

If in the midst a Pit there be,

There plant it deep unto the Root,

And never fear——you'll soon have Fruit.

Tho' let young Botanists beware

Of Insects that oft' harbour there,

Which 'mongst the tender Fibres breed,

And if not kill'd, eat up the Seed:

Good Humphrey Bowen gives another,

(As each Man should assist his Brother)

That is, to take especial Care

Not to set Vulvaria near;

Of them two Sorts are frequent found,

One helps, and to'ther spoils the Ground;

And many a Plant thriving and tall,

Destroy'd by them, has got a Fall.

But Misan's taken this just napping,

And against all Things that can happen

Both to the Shrub and Tree, has told some

How to make the deadliest Wholesome;

These venomous Vulvaria grow

At Vaux-Hall and St. James's too;

Nay, and about the Tree so leap,

That very few good Plants can 'scape.

The Names and Virtues

Old Mother D'Acier, in her Notes

On Homer, some hard Greek Word quotes,

Calls it Nep, nep,—I know not what,

And says it is the very Plant that

The tawny Queen to Helen sent,

To cure her Griefs at all Event.

Great Milton's Murd'rer says it is

The fam'd Machæra Herculis,

And proves from some old Grecian Poet,

So plain that all Men sure must know it,

That of this Tree the Club was made,

With which he overcame ('tis said)

Thespius' Daughters, all grown wild,

And fifty Mad-Women made mild;

Which very Club—(it makes one Laugh)

Omphale turn'd into a Distaff.

Nay, the Hesperian Tree was this,

As shew the Poma Veneris;

These Apples doubtless were the Fruit

That 'twixt the Queens rais'd such Dispute,

To make 'em all stark-naked stand,

While Paris held it in his Hand,

And chuck'd it into Venus' Mouth,

'Cause she with Beauty fir'd the Youth.

The Virtues are of such great Note,

That twenty Volumes might be wrote;

The Juice alone Green-Sickness cures,

And purges thro' all corporal Pores;

If any Maid be sick, or faint

Of Love, or Father's close Constraint,

One Spoonfull of this Cordial Balm

Soon stops each Grief, and every Qualm;

'Tis true, they sometimes Tumours cause,

And in the Belly make strange Flaws,

But a few Moons will make 'em sound,

And safely fetch the Swelling down.

Not Saffron chears the Heart like this,

Nor can Champaign give such a Bliss:

When Wife and Husband do fall out,

And both remain in sullen pout,

This brings them to themselves again,

And fast unites the broken Chain;

Makes Feuds and Discords straightway cease

And gives at least a Night of Peace.

This Rarity may now be seen

In Lambeth, at a Garden Green,

Bowen his Name, who in high Tone,

Calls it the Tree of Silver Spoon,

Which all the Maids of curious Eyes

May there behold of largest Size.

THE

Natural   H I S T O R Y

OF   THE

T r e e   of   L I F E.

The DESCRIPTION and PLACE.

HE Tree of Life is a succulent Plant, consisting of one only strait stem, on the top of which is a Pistillum or Apex, at some times Glandiform and resembling a May-Cherry, tho' at others, more like the Nut of the Avellana or Filbeard-Tree.

Its fruits, contrary to most others, grow near the Root; they are usually no more than two in number, their bigness somewhat exceeding that of an ordinary Nutmeg both contained in one strong Siliqua, or purse; which, together with the whole root of the plant, is commonly thick set with numerous Fibrilla or capillary Tendrils.

The tree is of slow growth, and requires time to bring it to perfection, rarely seeding to any purpose before the fifteenth year; when the fruits coming to good maturity, yield a viscous Juice or balmy succus, which being from time to time discharged at the Pistillum is mostly bestow'd upon the open Calyx's of the Frutex Vulvaria or flow'ring Shrub usually spreading under the shade of this tree, and whose parts are by a wonderful mechanism adapted to receive it. The ingenious Mr. Richard Bradley is of opinion, the Frutex is hereby impregnated, and then first begins to bear; he therefore accounts this Succus the Farina foecundans of the plant: and the learned Leonhard Fucksius, in his Historia Stirpium insigniorum, observes the greatest sympathy between this tree and shrub, They are, says he, of the same genus, and do best in the same bed, the Vulvaria itself being indeed no other than a female Arbor Vitæ.

It is produced in most Countries, tho' it thrives more in some than others, where it also increases to a larger size. The height here in England rarely passes nine, or at the most, eleven inches, and that chiefly in Kent, whereas in Ireland, it comes to far greater dimensions, is so good, that many of the natives entirely subsist upon it, and when transplanted, have been sometimes known to raise good houses with single plants of this sort.

As the Irish soil is accounted the best, others are as remarkably bad for its cultivation; and the least and worst in the world are said to be about Harborough and the Forest of Sherard.

The stem seems to be of the sensitive tribe, tho' herein differing from the more common Sensitives; that whereas they are known to shrink and retire from even the gentlest touch of a Lady's hand, this rises on the contrary, and extends itself when it is so handled.

In winter it is not easy to raise these trees without a hot bed; but in warmer weather they stand well in the open air.

In the latter season they are subject to become weak and flaccid, and want support; for which purpose some gardeners have thought of splintering them up with birchen Twigs, which has seem'd of some service for the present, tho' the plants have very soon come to the same or a more drooping state than before.

The late ingenious Mr. Motteux thought of restoring a fine plant he had in this condition, by tying it up with a Tomex or cord made of the bark of the Vitex, or Hempen-Tree: but whether he made the ligature too straight, or that the nature of the Vitex is really in itself pernicious, he quite kill'd his plant thereby; which makes this universally condemn'd, as a dangerous experiment.

Some Virtuosi have thought of improving their trees for some purposes, by taking off the Nutmegs, which is however a bad way; they never seed after, and are good for little more than making whistles of, which are imported every year from Italy, and sell indeed at a good price.

Some other curious Gentlemen have endeavour'd to inoculate their plants on the stock of the Medlar and that with a manure of human Ordure, but this has never been approv'd; and I have known some tree brought to a very ill end by such management.

The natural soil is certainly the best for their propagation; and that is in hollow places, that are warm and near salt water, best known by their producing the same sort of Tendrils as are observ'd about the roots of the Arbor itself. Some cautions however are very necessary, especially to young Botanists; and first, to be very diligent in keeping their trees clean and neat; a pernicious sort of insect, not, unlike a Morpione or Cimex, being very subject to breed amongst the Fibrillæ, which, if not taken heed of, and timely destroy'd, proves often of very dangerous consequence.

Another caution, no less useful, we have from that excellent and judicious Botanist Mr. Humphrey Bowen, to beware of a poisonous species of Vulvaria, too often mistaken for the wholesome one, and which, if suffer'd too near our trees, will very greatly endanger their well-being. He tells us, in the 12th volume of his large abridgment of la Quintinye, that before he had acquir'd his judgment and experience, some of his plants have often been sufferers through this mistake; and he has seen a tall thriving tree, by the contact: only of this venomous shrub, become porrose, scabiose, and cover'd with fungous Excrescences not unlike the fruits of the Ficus sylvestris in which case the succus also has lost both its colour and vertue; and the tree itself has so much partaken of the nature of the venomous shrub that had hurt it, that itself has become venomous, and spread the poison through a whole Plantation.

These distempers of a tree of the greatest use and value, have employ'd the labours of the most eminent Botanists and Gardeners, to seek out remedies for them: In which, however, none have succeeded like the celebrated Dr. Misaubin who from his profound knowledge in Botany has composed a most elaborate work upon all the things that can happen, both to the Arbor Vitæ and Vulvaria also: There he has taught a certain cure for all these evils; and, what is most wonderful, has even found out a way of making the most venomous Vulvaria itself wholesome, which he practises daily, to the satisfaction of all that apply to him.

These venomous Vulvaria are but too common in most gardens about London; there are many in St. James's Park, and more in the celebrated gardens at Vaux-hall over the water.

The NAMES and VIRTUES.

Besides the common name of Arbor Vitæ, a very learned Philosopher and great Divine would have it call'd, Arbor Scientiæ boni & mali; believing, upon very good grounds, this is the tree which grew in the middle of the garden of Eden, and whose fruits were so alluring to our first mother. Others would have it call'd the Mandrake of Leah, persuaded it is the same whose juice made the before barren Rachel a joyful mother of children.

The learned Madame D'Acier in her notes upon Homer contends it should be called Nepenthes. She gives many reasons why it certainly is that very plant, whose fruits the Egyptian queen recommended to Helen, as a certain cure for pain and grief of all sorts, and which She ever after kept by her as her most precious jewel, and made use of as a Panacæa upon all occasions.

The great Dr. Bentley calls it more than once Machæra Herculis, having proved out of the fragments of a Greek Poet, that of this tree was made that club with which the hero is said to have overcome the fifty wild daughters of Thespius, but which Queen Omphale afterwards reduced to a distaff. Others have thought the celebrated Hesperian trees were of this sort; and the very name of Poma Veneris, frequently given by Authors to the fruits of this tree, is a sufficient proof these were really the Apples for which three Goddesses contended in so warm a manner, and to which the Queen of beauty had undoubtedly the strongest title.

The vertues are so many, a large volume might be wrote of them. The juice taken inwardly cures the green-sickness and other infirmities of the like sort, and is a true specific in most disorders of the fair sex. It indeed often causes tumours in the umbilical region; but even those being really of no ill consequence, disperse of themselves in a few Months.

It chears the heart, and exhilarates the mind, quiets jars, feuds and discontents, making the most churlish tempers surprizingly kind and loving. Nor have private persons only been the better for this reconciling vertue, but whole states and kingdoms, nay, the greatest empires in the world have often received the benefit of it; the most destructive wars have been ended, and the most friendly treaties been produced, by a right application of this universal medicine among the chief of the contending parties.

If any person is desirous to see this excellent and wonderful plant in good perfection, he may meet with it at the aforementioned Mr Bowen's garden at Lambeth, who calls it The Silver-Spoon Tree; and is at all times ready to oblige his friends with the sight of it.

THE

Ridotto al' Fresco,

A

P O E M.

What various Arts attempts the am'rous Swain,

To force the Fair, or her Consent to gain—

Now Balls, now Masquerades his Care employ,

And Play and Park alternately give Joy—

Industrious H——gg——r, whose magick Brains

Still in their Shell the Recipe retains

Like some good Midwife brings the Plot to light

And helps the lab'ring Swain to Celia's Sight;

For this his Eunuchs in high Buskins tread—

And chaunt harmonious Lays for this,—and Bread;

For this the Assembly's fix'd; and the huge Dome

Swells with the Lady's Vows, when the Stake's gone.—

For this he forms the vicious Masquerade,

Where Damsels may securely drive their Trade,

For which the Salesman, Chandler, Chairmen loudly pray,

And Pickpockets too, hail the joyful Day—

But now what Tongue can praise the mighty Worth,

Who to Ridotto gave an English Birth;

To him let every Templar bend the Knee,

Receive a Ticket, and give up the Fee:

Let Drury-Lane eternal Columns raise,

And every wanton Wife resound his Praise;

Let Courtiers with implicit Faith obey,

And to their grand Procurer Homage pay.

No more shall Duchesses to Bath repair,

Or fly to Tunbridge to procure an Heir;

Spring-Gardens can supply their every Want,

For here whate'er they ask the Swain wil grant,

And future Lords (if they'll confess the right)

Shall owe their Being to this blessed Night;

Hence future Wickedness shall take its Rise,

(For Masquerade to this is paultry Vice)

An Æra of new Crimes shall hence begin,

And H——gg——r chief Devil be of Sin;

No more shall Ugliness be his Disgrace,

His Head mends all the Frailties of his Face;

When Masques and Balls to their Conclusion drew,

To this his last Resort the Hero flew;

So by degrees the Errant Knights of old

To Glory rose, and by Degrees grew bold;

A while content the common Road they trod,

'Till some great Act at last confess the God.

Now Painters work,—and dine, that starv'd before,

And Tallymen supply each needy Whore—

Fam'd Covent-Garden droops with mournful Look,

Nor can St. James's her great Rival brook:

Each Duck and D——ss, quacks to different Tunes,

One claps her Wings for Love, the other swoons;

Each Vintner storms and swears he is undone,

Vollies of Oaths speak loud the Drawer's Moan;

Porter who us'd to search for needful Girls,

Now sucks his Fingers, or his Apron twirls,

Bemoans his Loss of Business, and with Sighs,

In Box imprison'd lays the useless Dice.

Spring-Garden now alone does all invite

The Cit, the Wit, the Rake, the Fool, the Knight:

No Lady, that can pawn her Coat or Gown,

Will rest 'till she has laid the Money down:

Each Clerk will to the Joints his Fingers work,

And Counsellors find out some modern Querk,

To raise the Guinea, and to see the Grot,

And 'mongst the Belles to slant it at Ridolt.

Here Seamstresses and Maids together vie,

And the spruce 'Prentice shines in Sword and Tye:

Bandy'd in Lace the City Dame appears,

Her Hair genteelly frizzled round her Ears;

Her Gown with Tyrian Dyes most richly stain'd,

Glitt'ring with Orient Pearl from Orphans gain'd.

My Lord, to oblige his Spouse, takes Tickets three,

Crys, one's for you my Love, and one for me,

The third dispose as you shall best adjudge,

Shew where you're pleas'd, and where you owe a Grudge:

Madam elate, thinks she'll be kind to Betty,

To hide the Slips she made with Spark i'th' City:

But Stallion Tom, who well knew how to scold,

And by his Mistress's Favour grown too bold,

Swears if he has it not, he will reveal,

And to his Master tell a dismal Tale;

Madam, reluctant, gives him up the Paper;

He at her Folly laughs, and cuts a Caper.

Sylvia, a Lady, kept by twenty Beaux,

Who never yet could brook the Marriage Noose,

By each a Ticket offer'd, scorns 'em all,

In hopes some Fool at last will Victim fall,

And, kindly offer Treat and Ticket too,

Which to her Charms she thinks most justly due;

At last a brisk young Templar full of Fire,

Whom Writs with Money, Wine with Love inspire,

Address'd the Dame, she yeilds his glowing Charms,

And for a Ticket flies into his Arms:

So every dapper Fop and brawny Rake

Will Tickets to their Ladies Presents make;

To Sin, the only certain Dedication,

To every gentle Mistress in the Nation,

From Suburb Whore, to ranting Dame of Fashion;

For none's so niece as to refuse the Suit,

But grasps the Tree tho' 'tis forbidden Fruit.

Near where the Thames in pleasant Windings runs,

Near where the famous Glass-house fiercely burns,

(Which to the Love of poor desponding Swains,

An Emblem terrible, but just retains.)

Near where fam'd Vaux was to have fled,

With lighted Match, soon as he'd done the Deed;

Whence some pretend to say by second Sight,

That it foreshew'd the Fate attends this Night,

'Cause here the Fair will many Matches light.

Spring-Gardens lie shaded with verdant Trees,

That nod their reverend Heads at every Breeze;

Embassadors like Turks hence send Express,

And Ministers of State like Devils dress—

Should some wild Indian see the various Scene,

He'd swear all Nations of the Earth do here convene,

And take for quite reverse this medley Farce,

Think Strumpers Saints, or catstick'd Beau a Mars.

But now the Dancers nimble Feet go round,

And with just Measures beat the passive Ground,

Each one inclines to different Delights—

Musick the Fair, Sweetmeats the Beau invite;

The Templar wisely does his Care enroll,

Pockets the Pheasant, and eats up the Fowls

Nor will return to join the giddy Rout,

'Till he has eat and drank his Guinea out.

Now Dancing fires the Nymph to softer Joys;

The Musick's dull, the Wine and Sweetmeat cloys;

Strephon streight takes the Hint, withdraws a-while,

By soft Endearments does her Grief beguile;

Soon they return more vig'rous than before,

Do what they will, she cannot be a Whore.

For Mahomet may dream of heavenly Stews,

Where Virgin Rose, soon as it's lost, renews,

And shake with every Breath of Air serene,

As trembling for the Rapes they've daily seen;

When if those past can shake their Height profound,

Ridotto sure will fell them to the Ground;

Here Art to Nature join'd makes it compleat,

And Pyramids and Trees together meet;

Statues amidst the thickest Grove arise,

And lofty Columns tow'ring to the Skies;

Then next an Obelisk its Shade displays,

And rustic Rockwork fills each empty Space;

Each joins to make it noble, and excells

Beaufets for Food, Grotto's for something else.

But hark! the Doors on jarring Hinges turn,

All enter in, and the blest Scene's begun;

A thousand Lights their livid Flames display,

Pour forth their Blaze, and form a mimick Day:

Sudden a motley Mixture fills the Place,

And Footmen shine as lordly as his Grace;

To see the sad Effect and Power of Change,

Ladies turn'd Men, in Breeches freely range:

Young smooth-chin'd Beaux turn Priests and Fryars,

And Nun's chaste Habits hide our Country 'Squires.

Belles, Beaux, and Sharpers here together play,

And Wives throw their good Spouses Wealth away;

And when their Cash runs low, and Fate runs cross,

They then Cornute 'em to retrieve their Loss.

Dice and Intrigue so mutually are blended,

That one begins as soon as t'other's ended:

A City Heiress blooming, rich, and fair,

Picks up the Cards and Counters with great Care;

Against her fate a smooth young Baron,

Wit he had none, Beauty he had his share on,

A soft clear Skin, a dapper Neck and Waist,

In all Things suited to the modern Taste;

And most polite, like all our modish Brood,

That is, a very Fool, who's very leud:

He ogles Miss, she squints, and turns aside,

Nor can her Mask her rising Blushes hide;

At last (as Bargains here are quickly made)

She yeilds to be Caress'd, tho' still afraid;

She cries, a private Room's for them most fit,

For Reputation is the Glory of a Cit;

This only is the Place, where in a Trice,

Some Angel steals the Wounds of friendly Vice;

The Nymph finds a Relief for all her Pains,

And the lost Maidenhead's restor'd again.

But who is he in Bower close confin'd,

With a kind Fair t' unbend his troubled Mind,

Sure by his Air, his Beauty, and his Grace,

It Phoebus is, or some of heavenly Race.

A petty Courtier, of small Estate and Sense,

Stood hearkning by, and cry'd it was the P——ce.

Your Pardon, Sir, I knew it not before,

For my Mistake depended on his Whore,

One had Latona to'ther has L——r.

Next to the Grotto let us bend our Eye,

The Grotto, Patron of Iniquity,

Speak O ye Trees with kind refreshing Shade,

How many Whores have at your Roots been made;

Alas; how small the Number to what now,

This one, this happy Night, alone will shew

So many, that each conscious Dryad flees,

Lest she too should be ravish'd thro' the Trees.

Next rattling Dice invite th' attentive Ear,

Lords loudly laugh, as loud the Bullies swear:

The Country Knight o'th' Shire sells his Estate,

And here with Heart intrepid meets his Fate;

So they withdrew to quench their glowing Flame,

And to preserve the Honour of her Name;

For oh! sad Fate as they ascend the Stairs,

At the Room Door her good Mamma appears,

Soon as she spies her Child with Looks demure,

She charges her to keep her Vessel pure:

Miss pertly answers to avoid her Doom,

Mamma, whose Hat and Wig is in the Room?

The good old Dame yeilds at the just Reproach,

Cries—Well my Dear, don't take too much!

Thus various Joys soon waste the fleeting Night,

And Sleep and Lust the Croud to Bed invite;

Some in their Truckle-Beds to snore all Day,

Others in Gambols with their Wh——es to play;

The Dunghill Trapes, trickt up like virtuous Trull,

If by good Chance, she gets a Dupe or Cull;

On Tallyman intrudes twelve Hours more,

And for a clean Shift presumes to run a Score.

Sages may say, that Arts and Science fail,

And Ignorance and Folly have weigh'd down the Scale:

In England they have given new Arts a Rise,

And what in Science wants, increase in Vice,

And to be great as Angels when they fell,

(If not exceed) at least they equal Hell.

F I N I S.

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LADIES DELIGHT ***

Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed.

Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.

START: FULL LICENSE

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg™ License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license.

Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™ electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg™ electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™ works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg™ name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™ License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States.

1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™ trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™ License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™ License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg™.

1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License.

1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg™ work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™ website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg™ License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works provided that:

- • You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”

- • You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works.

- • You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work.

- • You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.

1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.

1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any Defect you cause.

Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™

Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg™ collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.

Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.

The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact

Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.

Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.

Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org.

This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

Table of Contents

- L a d i e s D e l i g h t.

- CONTAINING,

- AN

- A D D R E S S

- TO ALL Well provided Hibernians.

- THE

- Natural H I S T O R Y

- OF THE

- T r e e of L I F E.

- The Names and Virtues

- THE

- Natural H I S T O R Y

- OF THE

- T r e e of L I F E.

- The DESCRIPTION and PLACE.

- The NAMES and VIRTUES.

- THE

- Ridotto al' Fresco,

- A

- P O E M.

- F I N I S.

- THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE