The noble lord
Date: 2006-11-23T00:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Drama

The Project Gutenberg eBook of The noble lord

This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: The noble lord
a comedy in one act

Author: Percival Wilde

Release date: November 23, 2006 [eBook #19904]

Language: English

Credits: Produced by William Coon

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE NOBLE LORD ***

Produced by William Coon

THE NOBLE LORD
A Comedy In One Act

By
PERCIVAL WILDE

The Noble Lord

CHARACTERS HE. SHE. PETERS.

THE NOBLE LORD

A secluded spot in the Maine woods in the neighborhood of a summer hotel. It is the middle of July. The trees are covered with foliage, a hot sun casts dancing shadows upon the mossy ground, and the air is full of the twittering of birds and the rustle of leaves. A winding path crosses from one side to the other, and near the center is a little clearing: the stump of a felled tree, with the lichen-covered trunk itself near it, and a patch of grassy turf. The eye cannot penetrate far through the riotously growing underbrush, but as one looks upwards, to the left, a thinning of foliage, allowing a glimpse of the sky, gives evidence of the near proximity of some small body of water.

As the curtain rises the scene is empty. There is only the song of birds, and the whisper of a gentle breeze. For a few seconds nothing else is heard. Then, suddenly, not far away, there is the sound of a splash, followed by the scream of a drowning woman, "Help! Help! Help!" There is a tremendous crashing through the underbrush, and another voice, very masculine, very English, shouts, "Where are you? Where are you?" Rather indefinitely the first speaker answers, "Here! Help! Help!" Another crashing through the underbrush, followed by a second splash, and presently, after a short pause, there enters upon the stage a tall, much bedraggled Englishman, bearing in his arms the motionless body of an extremely good-looking girl. Both of them are very wet, and a trail of water marks their progress across the scene. Reaching the clearing, the Englishman methodically deposits the girl on the ground, backs away a foot or so, and notices that his hands are wet. He reaches into a hip pocket and draws forth a handkerchief: the handkerchief is wetter than his hands. With a gesture of vexation he throws it away, and gives his attention to the girl. He looks at her quizzically; then, rather timidly, he kneels at her side, and lays his ear over her heart. He rises promptly with a satisfied nod, carefully removes his dripping coat, folds it neatly, and places it on the log. Again he kneels, this time with his knees on either side of the girl's head, and laboriously begins to apply the Sylvester method, counting audibly as he does so. At "ten" he stops wearily, pauses, and again applies his ear to her heart. The result is evidently pleasing, and after a few more Sylvester movements, he begins to vary the procedure by removing her shoes and alternately chafing her hands and feet. Presently she sighs deeply. For the third time he pauses to listen to her heart. Slowly and deliberately her left arm rises, to encircle his neck in a confiding clasp. He sits back on his haunches, politely surprised.

SHE. (Faintly) Mother! Mother, dear!

HE. Eh?

SHE. Mother, dear, I'm so glad——

HE. (Interrupting energetically) Really, I beg your pardon.

SHE. (Continuing without a break) I'm so glad you've come.

HE. Ah, yes. . . . Quite so.

SHE. Kiss me, mother.

HE. (Trying to rise) Eh?

(She does not release him.)

SHE. Kiss me, mother.

HE. But I'm not your mother.

SHE. (Plaintively) Won't you kiss me, mother?

HE. (Looks around furtively. Then he obliges her.)

SHE. Ah! That's so nice. (She pauses. Shudders.) Hold me close, mother, hold me close. I've had such a terrible dream!

HE. Good Heavens! You're not dreaming now. . . .

SHE. I dreamt—I dreamt— (He has raised her to a sitting position. She stops abruptly. Looks about.) Where—where am I?

HE. (Surprised) Don't you know?

SHE. No.

HE. (In a matter-of-fact tone) We are about half a mile away from the Poland Springs Hotel, Poland Springs, Maine.

SHE. (Vaguely) Oh! (She pauses.) And you, how do you come here?

HE. Strolling.

SHE. Strolling?

HE. I reached the hotel this morning. It was hot—beastly hot. I went for a walk in the woods.

SHE. And then?

HE. I beg your pardon?

SHE. What happened then? How did we meet?

HE. Don't you know?

SHE. I remember nothing—I'm confused. (She tries to get up, but sits on the log with a little exclamation.) My shoes—where are my shoes?

HE. (Fetching them) Here they are.

SHE. Thank you. . . . (She looks at them.) Those aren't my shoes!

HE. (Politely) No?

SHE. They're wet.

HE. (Nodding) They would be.

SHE. But they're not mine.

HE. (Shrugging his shoulders) I found them on your feet.

SHE. (Confused) On my feet?

HE. Yes. . . . (An afterthought) One on each.

SHE. Oh! . . . (She tries to put them on.) I can't get them on.

HE. No?

SHE. Will you help me? (He assists her; she feels her clothes and exclaims): Oh!

HE. Did I hurt you?

SHE. (Astonished) My clothes are wet!

HE. (Thoughtfully) Yes.

SHE. How funny! (Noticing him.) And you—you're wet also!

HE. (Nodding) Soaked.

SHE. What a coincidence! How curious! How did it happen? (She pauses.) Oh, if I could only think! Think! (He rises, and waits politely.) Tell me: you must know.

HE. Well, I was strolling through the woods. I heard a splash

SHE. (Interrupting) A splash! Oh, don't say any more: I remember! That horrible lake! Horrible! It was so warm at the hotel: I had gone off to the woods. I was sitting at the edge of the lake—on a rock—reading. I must have been sleepy. I fell in.

HE. Then you screamed.

SHE. Yes: I was drowning! Drowning! I called for help!

HE. I heard you.

SHE. I sank—I sank, oh, miles and miles! It felt as if hands were trying to pull me down to the bottom! I screamed again—and then—then—I felt a strong arm around my waist—I was dizzy— there was a roaring in my ears—I knew no more.

HE. (Sympathetically) Too bad, too bad.

SHE. And you—(rising to her feet enthusiastically)—you were the man who jumped in!

HE. (Apologetically) I was passing by.

SHE. You saved my life! Oh, how can I ever thank you? My hero! (She throws her arms about his neck.)

HE. That's all right. . . .

SHE. But it's not all right. I can never repay you! Never! Never!
Not if I live to be a thousand years old! (She kisses him.)

HE. (Calmly) That's the second time.

SHE. The second time?

HE. (Nodding) I kissed you before.

SHE. Oh! (Releasing him quickly.) You didn't!

HE. Yes, I did.

SHE. While I was unconscious?

HE. Precisely.

SHE. Oh, how could you do such a thing? How could you?

HE. (Taking up his coat) It was by request. (Takes cigarette case from pocket.)

SHE. (Incredulously) I asked you?

HE. You said, "Mother! Mother! Kiss me!" (Takes cigarette from case. Pleased to see that it is dry. Puts it between his lips.)

SHE. I said that?

HE. They were your first words. (Produces match-safe from trouser pocket.)

SHE. But you didn't have to kiss me.

HE. No? (Trying to strike a match. It is wet. So are the others.)

SHE. You didn't have to!

HE. I tried to explain that I was not your mother, but you seemed to know better. (He throws the cigarette away.) You insisted. I couldn't help it.

SHE. (After a pause, coquettishly) What do you mean: you couldn't "help it"?

HE. (Perfectly willing to flirt) You know—(He hesitates.)

SHE. (Encouragingly) Yes?

HE. You're a pretty girl—a deucedly pretty girl.

SHE. Oh, no!

HE. But you are; honor bright!

SHE. You really think so?

HE. (Nods) There was no one around. It was the kind of an opportunity which does not present itself every day: life is so— monotonous. And you didn't seem to object.

SHE. (Coyly) I couldn't very well—not while I was unconscious.

HE. That's so. I am a man, with a man's tastes. And you begged me so hard—it was so inviting—well, I kissed you.

SHE. (After a pause) On the lips?

HE. Yes. On the lips.

SHE. (After a pause) How often?

HE. Eh?

SHE. How often did you kiss me?

HE. Only once.

SHE. Was that all?

HE. (With a smile) Why, it's hardly worth mentioning.

SHE. (Going to him and taking his hands magnanimously) Well, I forgive you.

HE. Thank you.

SHE. (Invitingly) Two kisses is not a great deal for saving my life.

HE. No?

SHE. I owe you much more than that!

HE. (Standing motionless) Really?

SHE. (With her lips half an inch from his) Really! (A pause.) Really! (He does not kiss her. She gives it up. Sits on the log, drawing him to her side.) You must tell me all about yourself. Just think: if it hadn't been for you, I would be at the bottom of the lake now. What a horrible tragedy that would have been: to die in such a way! . . . (She pauses.) It's natural that I should want to know something about the man who saved me from that. . . .

HE. (With embarrassment) I don't like to talk about myself——

SHE. (Interrupting encouragingly) You're still a young man, aren't you?

HE. Thirty-one.

SHE. (Laying her hand on his) Are you?

HE. (Nodding) Last November.

SHE. (Lying with the insouciance of expertness) I'm just twenty. (He nods his head, without showing the least sign of disbelief.) Eleven years between us.

HE. Just the right ages, aren't we?

SHE. (Leaving her hand where it is) Do you think so?

HE. Eleven years difference—ideal!

SHE. Ten and a half.

HE. Eh?

SHE. I was born in June.

HE. Oh, were you? (Sagely.) That's better yet.

SHE. Do you think so—Lord Brookfield?

HE. (Surprised—or simulating it effectively.) Eh?

SHE. Lord Brookfield?

HE. How on earth did you know it?

SHE. (With a laugh) Oh, I am not so stupid as all that!

HE. You recognized me?

SHE. No. I have never seen you.

HE. A photo?

SHE. No.

HE. Then how did you know? . . .

SHE. (Interrupting) Lord Brookfield is a well-known man. The papers said he was coming to the hotel. I knew every other guest——

HE. But three or four others arrived this morning.

SHE. Americans.

HE. Oh!

SHE. You are English. I could see that right away.

HE. (After a pause) How clever of you!

SHE. Oh, Lord Brookfield!

HE. And how curious that I should meet you in this way—informal, so to speak.

SHE. (Laughing) Odd, wasn't it? (She rises.) Ugh!—how my clothes are sticking to me!

HE. That's so. You had better change.

SHE. And you?

HE. I'm rather wet myself.

SHE. Will you take me back to the hotel?

HE. The sun is very hot here.

SHE. (Instantly changing) Oh, would you rather stay?

HE. (Does not answer for a few seconds. Then, a little abruptly) Tell me: can you swim?

SHE. (Startled) Eh?

HE. Can you swim?

SHE. Lord Brookfield! Of course I can't!

HE. That's curious.

SHE. Curious?

HE. Neither can I.

SHE. (Staggered, but returning to the attack with magnificent self-possession) Oh, but you swam splendidly! Clothes and all! All the way from the other side of the lake!

HE. Did I?

SHE. Of course you did! One plunge, and a few magnificent overhand strokes. . . . (She notices his peculiar expression, and hesitates.)

HE. (Thoughtfully) Plunge?

SHE. Why, certainly.

HE. (Shaking his head) I would have sworn I waded.

SHE. (Laughing uneasily) You are really too modest, Lord
Brookfield.

HE. Let's see. (He picks up his coat, and shakes it out.) Of course, I might have swum, but—Ah! the water line comes only as far as the waist!

SHE. That means nothing.

HE. No? (Feeling his head.) If I had plunged, my hair would have been wet.

SHE. It dried in the sun.

HE. Ah, yes! But my cigarettes! (Taking one from the case.)

SHE. The case is waterproof.

HE. Still, the matches are wet. (Producing the box from his trouser pocket, and trying to strike one.) You see?

SHE. (With a forced laugh) Lord Brookfield, don't deny that you saved my life!

HE. That is what I am trying to do.

SHE. (Frigidly) I beg your pardon?

HE. I jumped in without thinking. It was the natural thing to do: I heard you scream for help. But the moment the water came to my waist I knew that if it went any deeper I should have to call for help also.

SHE. Well?

HE. I was spared that humiliation: the pond isn't over three feet deep in any place. And I waded the whole twenty feet from one end to the other. . . . And I can't swim.

SHE. But I was drowning! Drowning!

HE. (Politely) Are you in the habit of drowning often?

SHE. (Rising indignantly) Lord Brookfield!

HE. I nearly forgot to mention——

SHE. What?

HE. That I saw you jump in.

SHE. Oh!

HE. It was pleasant while it lasted, wasn't it? And romantic!
Why, romantic doesn't begin to describe it! (Imitating)
"Mother, kiss me!"

SHE. Oh, how can you?

HE. Unconscious—helpless—and you didn't remember! Not even the shoes. That was clever—very clever! And the hands trying to pull you down to the bottom: that was the touch of genius! (He pauses with a smile.) Ah, well, I was willing to have a little fun. (A man is heard whistling a popular song in the distance. He listens attentively.)

SHE. (After a pause) You played with me—played with me. Oh, you're disgusting! Revolting! What a thing for a man to do! I thought—— (She breaks off.)

HE. (Encouraging her to continue) Yes?

SHE. Nothing. . . . (Then, seeing no reason to restrain herself.) I thought Lord Brookfield was a gentleman!

HE. Oh, but I'm not.

SHE. Not a gentleman?

HE. No. . . . I'm not Lord Brookfield.

SHE. Not Lord Brookfield?

HE. No.

SHE. Then who on earth are you?

HE. (Sweetly) I? I'm a friend of his.

SHE. A friend?

HE. A close friend—very close.

SHE. Who? Who?

HE. (Leisurely) I'm not related, you know, but I see a lot of him. We're thick—very thick.

SHE. (un patiently) Who are you?

HE. (Simply) I'm his valet.

SHE. (Horrified) Oh! . . . And you kissed me! A valet! You dared kiss me!

HE. At your request.

SHE. (Almost choking with rage) But a valet! A valet!

HE. I'm a good valet. One of the best there is.

SHE. Your insolence! Oh! (She seizes the handkerchief which he has left on the log, and wipes her mouth furiously.)

HE. My handkerchief.

SHE. (Throwing it to the ground) Oh, you coward! You. . . . You (She sits on the log, inarticulate with rage. The whistle is heard again.)

HE. Listen to me.

SHE. I won't.

HE. (Earnestly) Listen to me.

SHE. I don't want to talk to you!

HE. I'll help you.

SHE. (Rising) I don't want your help.

HE. (Bluntly) Then you're silly.

SHE. (Wheeling furiously) How dare you——

HE. (Interrupting) I'll make a bargain with you.

SHE. (Scornfully) What dealings can there be between us?

HE. Did you hear the whistling a minute ago?

SHE. Well?

HE. (With meaning) That's Brookfield.

SHE. (After a pause) Well?

HE. The path leads here. He is following the path——

SHE. (After still another pause) Well?

HE. You and I might be very good friends——

SHE. (Thoughtfully) Oh, you mean——

HE. A valet is not paid very well——

SHE. No. . . . Still——

SHE. If anything comes of it——

SHE. (Slowly) Comes of what?

HE. You understand me. (He pauses; smiles. Then, in a Mephistophelian manner): Your clothes are still wet, aren't they?

SHE. (With full comprehension) Yes——

HE. Enough said! (The whistle is heard, close at hand.) Quick!

SHE. (Going off) You won't tell? (He shakes his head.) I'll remember you. (She runs into the woods.)

HE. (Sits on the log, laughs heartily. He produces another cigarette, and tries in vain to light it. Then, as an atrocious little cockney enters whistling gaily, he addresses him sharply) Peters!

PETERS. (Surprised) M'lord?

HE. Give me a light, Peters.

PETERS. Yes, m'lord. (Produces match, etc.)

HE. Thanks. (He blows a few whiffs into the air. Then stops, and surveys PETERS thoughtfully.) Peters, you're a brave man, aren't you?

PETERS. (Modestly) I am 'andy with me fists, m'lord.

HE. That's not quite what I mean, Peters. . . . (He pauses.) Peters, you have the making of a hero in you. Something tells me that you're going to have your chance.

(There is a loud splash from the same direction as before, followed by screams of "Help! Help!")

PETERS. (With excitement) M'lord!

HE. (Quietly) Yes, Peters?

PETERS. Somebody's calling for 'elp, m'lord!

HE. Yes, Peters.

PETERS. Shall I go, m'lord?

HE. Yes, Peters. . . . Gallop!

And as

PETERS. (Charges wildly into the shrubbery, shouting): H'I'm coming! H'I'm coming!

THE CURTAIN FALLS

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE NOBLE LORD ***

Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed.

Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.

START: FULL LICENSE

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg™ License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license.

Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™ electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg™ electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™ works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg™ name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™ License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States.

1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™ trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™ License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™ License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg™.

1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License.

1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg™ work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™ website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg™ License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works provided that:

- • You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”

- • You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works.

- • You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work.

- • You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.

1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.

1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any Defect you cause.

Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™

Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg™ collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.

Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.

The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact

Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.

Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.

Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org.

This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.