Crankisms
Date: 2006-12-05T00:00:00+00:00
Keywords: Wit and humor; Aphorisms and apothegms

The Project Gutenberg eBook of Crankisms

This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: Crankisms

Author: Lisle de Vaux Matthewman

Illustrator: Clare Victor Dwiggins

Release date: December 5, 2006 [eBook #20024]

Language: English

Credits: Produced by Louise Hope, Mark C. Orton, Fox in the Stars
and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at
http://www.pgdp.net

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CRANKISMS ***

Title Page Text

Copyright, 1901, by Henry T. Coates & Company.

All rights reserved.

If I may be permitted to offer a suggestion, the Crankisms should be read in the spirit in which sermons are listened to—with the object of discovering whom they hit. This will furnish amusement, for what is more entertaining than trying the cap on others?

The settings speak for themselves; but the author desires to express his indebtedness to the artist for having infused life into and lent grace to dead bones of words, and for having, in many cases, given to those words a deeper and more subtle meaning than they themselves could be made to express.

L. de V. M.

May, 1901.

The Crankisms:

text with links

Title Page:

Crankisms
by Lisle de Vaux Matthewman

Pictured
by Clare Victor Dwiggins

* MCMI *
HENRY T. COATES & CO.
PHILADELPHIA

The Crankisms

Some illustrations have been lightly edited
where they overlapped with text or decoration.

TP

Title Page

illustration

1

The kisses of an enemy are deceitful, but not as deceitful as the advice of the friend who is always counseling you for your own good.

illustration

2

The best and the worst in man respond only to woman’s touch—unfortunately for man.

illustration

3

Men reason; women do not. Woman has no logic, and judging from the use it is to man, is better off without it.

illustration

4

The present arrangement of society refuses to many the means to live, while forbidding them the right to die when they wish.

illustration

5

Woman generally tries to attract a man’s eye, and then blames him for being caught by prettiness and superficial charms. But she rarely tries to appeal to his better self.

illustration

6

The man who is pockmarked has most to say against freckles.

left
lower right

7

Charity covers a multitude of sins which are committed in her name.

illustration

8

Life is full of golden opportunities for doing what we do not want to do.

lower left
upper right

9

Never compliment a woman and you will earn her undying enmity. Respect is rarely appreciated by her; but compliments are always at a premium, even counterfeits being accepted as greedily as the real.

lower right
upper left

10

When we grow old we walk unfeelingly over that which we, in our youth, madly chased.

upper left
lower right

11

The biggest fool is the one who thinks he can fool others with impunity without them knowing and resenting it.

illustration
(bottom only)

12

When we get what we want we are always disappointed to find that it is not what we wanted.

upper left
lower right

13

Like does not always worship like: Beauty often worships the Beast.

illustration

14

We were all in the front row when modesty was served out—at least we think so.

illustration

15

Because some men are ruined by intemperance it does not follow that all should become abstainers, any more than because some men are ruined by marriage all men should remain single.

illustration

16

What men see in women or women in men to admire is generally a puzzle to those who know the men and women in question intimately.

lower left
upper right

17

The only compliment which a woman really dislikes is that which is paid to another.

illustration

18

Things have changed since Shakespeare’s time: men’s evil deeds we write in sympathetic ink; their virtues on marble tombstones.

illustration

19

Our own weaknesses we regard as misfortunes from which we cannot escape; the weaknesses of others we consider crimes.

illustration

20

No matter how well we do, we are sure to be anxious to impress upon others that what we have achieved is trifling—compared with that of which we are capable.

lower left
upper right

21

A woman is not a woman merely by reason of her sex, any more than an angel is of necessity an angel of light.

left
lower right

22

We are quite able, while hating sin, to pity and be charitable to the sinner—when we happen to be the sinner concerned.

illustration

23

The commonly accepted idea that a woman of beauty is of necessity lacking in mental qualities, must have originated in the head of some woman who possessed neither.

left
upper right

24

The Devil is not as black as he is painted. In fact, he is more like us than we care to admit.

upper left
lower right

25

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; and as it is more blessed to give than to receive, we prefer to do the wounding.

illustration

26

The naked truth and a naked lie

Are shocking alike to society.

upper left
upper right

27

A man often envies another man his physical qualities—rarely his mental. As we have no soul mirror we cannot see the reflection of our spiritual deformities.

lower right
upper left

28

It is easy to have conscientious scruples when they are profitable.

illustration

29

The man who marries for money is a fool, but rarely as big a fool as he who marries for love.

illustration

30

When you have done a man a favor do not insist too earnestly that it is a mere trifle, or he may take you at your word and not trouble to repay it; which would be very disappointing.

illustration

31

The gentle art of making enemies is the one natural accomplishment which is common to all sorts and conditions of men—and women.

illustration

32

What we think of ourselves combined with what others think of us is a very fair estimate.

illustration

33

If a girl cannot make up her mind between two men it is because she has no mind worth making up.

Besides, any man who will knowingly be one of two is not worth the trouble of thinking about.

illustration

34

If we devoted as much attention to our own affairs as we freely give to those of others, we and others would be gainers.

illustration

35

Merit, like the show inside a circus, is of comparatively little use as a drawing card; it is the bluff and buncombe the banging drum and megaphone of the barker which is the successful magnet.

upper left
lower right

36

We always know what we should do under certain circumstances, but unfortunately we never find circumstances arranged so as to suit what we do.

illustration

37

An over sensitive conscience is simply the evidence of spiritual dyspepsia. The man who has it is no better than his fellows.

illustration

38

Generosity, as commonly understood, consists in forcing upon others that for which one has no use.

illustration

39

There is a greater difference between really thinking and only thinking that we think than most of us think.

upper left
lower right

40

We rashly demand that the devil shall have his due, forgetting that if that gentleman gets all that is coming to him it will go badly with some of us.

lower left
upper right
lower right

41

If women knew themselves as well as they know men—and if men knew women as well as they know themselves—things would be very much as they are.

illustration

42

Before he knows a woman a man often thinks her an angel; when he knows her he knows—er—better.

illustration

43

A critic is one who knows perfectly well how a thing should be done, but is unable to do it. Therefore we are all the keenest critics in matters of which we know least.

illustration

44

From all enemies and most friends, good Lord, deliver us!

illustration

45

Everything comes to the man who waits
but that is no inducement to wait—for no man wants everything.

He usually wants one thing in particular—just that one which he never gets, no matter how long he waits.

illustration

46

When a man has drained the dregs of the bitterness of life, hope and fear no longer exist in him, only indifference which produces stupefaction.

illustration

47

Forbidden fruit has no attraction until we know that it is forbidden.

illustration

48

A man can be judged from the theatres he frequents and the ladies who accompany him there.

left
lower right

49

Criticism grows faint in the presence of successful achievement.

left
lower right

50

A man may confess that his judgment was at fault, but

illustration

51

never that his intentions were other than strictly honorable.

illustration

52

Our last match never ignites except when we are sure it will not, and are prepared for the worst.

illustration

53

It is impossible to serve two masters, and few of us try. We are satisfied to praise God from whom all blessings flow while we cash the checks of Mammon.

illustration

54

Our own success is due to our indomitable energy and other deserving traits; that of others largely to blind luck. With our energy and the good luck of others what could we not achieve!

illustration

55

The trouble with most reformers that they waste their time and energy trying to reform somebody else.

upper left
lower right

56

We are convinced in our own minds that every man deserves what he gets; but, judging from ourselves, not every one gets what he deserves.

lower left
right

57

If we saw ourselves as others see us we should not believe our own eyes; but we should have a still lower opinion of the rest of the world than we now have.

illustration

58

When we care we usually don’t dare; when we dare we don’t often care.

left
lower right

59

What sounds so sweet as the human voice—to the one who is doing the talking!

illustration

60

Words may be mere wind, but then so is a tornado.

illustration

61

Laugh, and the world laughs with you; cry, and the world laughs at you.

illustration

62

A proverbial expression is often a crystallized lie which we should like to believe.

illustration

63

Because everything is for the best it does not follow that it is for our best.

illustration

64

It is easier to moralize than to be moral.

illustration

65

The difference between an actress on the stage and a woman not on the stage is a matter of here and there.

right
upper left

66

Ignorance is not so surprising, nor such a mark of inferiority, as unwillingness to learn.

upper left
lower right

67

He who grows indignant when his veracity is questioned generally has good and sufficient reason therefor.

illustration

68

Our joys are mainly those of prospect and retrospect.

illustration

69

It is not to be expected that the average man should know what a real woman is like—he so rarely sees one.

illustration

70

The Chinese promise and never intend to perform; we promise and do intend to perform.

The result is about the same.

left
right

71

Woman regards the criticizing of her sex as her own prerogative, and criticizes more bitterly than any man would think of doing; but she resents any criticism, no matter how just, from man.

illustration

72

Lambs, it is true, gambol, but in due time they all get fleeced.

illustration

73

What we need is some philosopher to tell us how to be happy when we have every reason for being unhappy.

illustration

74

The most striking trait of the average man is unwillingness to be convinced—that we are right and he is wrong.

illustration

75

If man were so constituted that he could pat himself on the back gracefully, or kick himself effectively, he would spend most of his spare time doing one or the other.

illustration

76

Most of us live as if we expected to be judged from our epitaph rather than from our conduct.

illustration

77

The world is a paradise for fools, a purgatory or worse for others.

illustration

78

When we have the capacity of enjoying we have not the reason for enjoyment; when we do have good and sufficient grounds we no longer have the capacity.

left
lower right

79

To be happy, give; to be successful, take; to be happy and successful, give and take.

illustration

80

What a woman admires in a man depends on whether she is married or single.

upper left
lower right

81

Confidence given is usually confidence misplaced.

illustration

82

Women admire the gilded youth because he is a golden calf.

left
upper right

83

Even those who do not repeat scandal are generally willing to listen to it. Talk of the virtues of another, and, as a rule, your hearers will get bored; only hint that you could a tale unfold and you will secure perfect attention.

illustration

84

We forget that once upon a time we were little children; but the unpleasant fact that we are big children is being constantly forced upon us, together with the moral certainty that we shall never be anything else.

lower right
upper left

85

A man considers his little weaknesses amiable traits; a woman—a woman will not admit that she has a weakness.

upper right
lower left

86

God’s call, through the still small voice, to preach, is much more irresistible when megaphoned by a wealthy church.

illustration

87

Many who sing loud praises to God, pay heavy tribute to the devil.

illustration

88

If the world is, as is so often whined, growing worse, it is partly because of our presence in it.

illustration

89

The counsel of a good book is far superior to that of a man who says one thing and does another.

illustration

90

If other people would only be as reasonable as we are, what a heaven this earth would be.

illustration

91

The world has no sympathy for the gambler who loses.

illustration

92

Trust in God, but keep a sharp lookout on your friends.

illustration

93

Tell the truth and you will shame the devil; you will also surprise him very often.

illustration

94

The knowledge that virtue is its own reward is what deters many from well doing.

illustration

95

It requires no particular skill to win the game when Fortune has dealt you all the trumps.

illustration

96

We give much more thought to what is due to us than to what is due from us.

illustration

97

A camel may not be able to pass through the eye of a needle, but that does not deter many a lobster from trying to do so.

illustration

98

The man who sees things as they are is regarded as a madman, just as those were formerly looked upon who maintained that the earth was round. The average man sees things as they seem to be.

upper left
lower right

99

We are all convinced of the righteousness and reasonableness of majority rule—when we happen to belong to the majority.

right
lower left

100

The greater his trouble, the more a man hugs it to his heart.

illustration

The Artist

Clare Victor Dwiggins ("Dwig"), signatures from the first eight pages:

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CRANKISMS ***

Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed.

Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.

START: FULL LICENSE

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg™ License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license.

Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™ electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg™ electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™ works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg™ name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™ License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States.

1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™ trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™ License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™ License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg™.

1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License.

1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg™ work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™ website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg™ License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works provided that:

- • You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”

- • You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works.

- • You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work.

- • You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.

1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.

1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any Defect you cause.

Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™

Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg™ collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.

Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.

The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact

Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.

Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.

Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org.

This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

back

Table of Contents

- Title Page Text
- The Crankisms:
- Title Page:
- Crankisms
- The Crankisms
- The Artist
- THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE